Now that American Horror Story Red Tide is wrapped up, and we all are searching for something to keep our minds off the train wreck that was Death Valley. I would like to propose an alternate for how Red Tide should have gone. As of now Red Tide Is it decent Horror Story about the dangers of the pursuit of greatness, or some contrived pretentious ******** like that. Now of course you’re reading this on Afro horror so you can probably guess but I’m about to propose some black ****, And as the great prophet OG Maco one said “***** you guessed it!”. Though I’m not just proposing make the main character black, I am asking for something a bit more interesting. Red tide should have been lowkey the Tyler Perry story.

    In AHS:Red Tide we see the story of the Gardner’s, a lovely white family that is shaken to their core when the father Harry ( Finn Wittrock) is given a pill to unlock his talent but as with all American horror stories the price talent is too high for the entire family. Not to say that this wasn’t a good story but let’s be honest this is just limitless with vampires. Yes, the black version would still be limitless with vampires, but it would also have a meatier subplot due to the switch. When Harry is given the pills, he is apprehensive at first because he truly believes he doesn’t need them. The sell to a Black creator would be much more harrowing, not only would they have to consider the ultimate price of taking the pill, but they would also have to think about what that pill symbolizes for them. Right now, it just is a gateway to fame but with a Black creator it becomes a key into the White creative space. Watching a character come to terms with their humanity is cute but imagine if they were worried about their humanity and the fear of losing their culture as well.

Naturally the next storyline we look at is the wife, but since they decided to sideline her I guess we will too; moving on to the daughter then. Alma (Ryan Kiera Armstrong) is a violin prodigy who takes the pill to help with a seemingly hard piece of music, which at the moment is giving “I took Adderall to help me study” vibes. While I found Ryan to be great in the role I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to watch a young black child deciding to take the pill. Not just so they can finally play harder pieces but because they know that without that pill they might just end up another un-noticed Black musician because they don’t play societally acceptable music for a black musician. Feeling the sadness of them accepting the price of the pill because they have watched their talented father struggle in a similar way.

Finally we get to the Mother, which seems messed up but hey that’s how they decided to do her in the series. Doris (Lilly Rabe) is sadly given the chore of stumbling around confused and worried that A) Things aren’t going well for her business, and B) Things aren’t going well at home. Lily is such a great actress it’s lowkey a crime the way they played her this go around. Steamrolling past how they set her up to be a non-talented shrew whose fate is sealed because she just wanted a connection with her family. (who said all that) Anywhozzle, Now there are two ways we could go here we could keep her white and the story becomes about the White wife of a Black creator watching them lose their humanity and culture while skyrocketing to fame, or if we make her Black it’s the same but now with the added element of “will this ungrateful negro leave me for a white girl”. Just sayin we got options BABY!

Baby! 

Oh no it seems that in my ranting I have forgotten all about the baby. I haven’t. Switching up the family just allows the Chemist (Angelica Ross) to move in the world easier with a black baby so there are no questions to slow her mission down. I know that was a lot to throw out there especially for a seemingly decent season of AHS but let’s face it, it could have been better. Also knowing how Ryan Murphy operates, It could have been much worse. If you have any other ideas to add, or think that I missed something important out of this drop a comment below. And please if you find yourself reading this and you start to feel a bit uncomfortable just remember :

Former Artist, Current Deviant Timothy Rush. Twitter: @timmyvendetta | Insta:@vendetta234

• By Timothy Rush
• In Guest Blog
• 0 comments

By Timothy Rush

I’m not sure if it’s the over use of summer camps or the lack of any school time antics, but summertime feels like slasher season. Let’s be honest no one wants to be running for their lives in the snow nor during the upswing of Black History month. So with that in mind the Season of the Slasher is upon us and I think it’s time we try to figure out what a wholly Afro Summer Slasher looks like. From possible locations, to possible killers, even down to possible survivors. Let’s take some time to imagine what a black slasher could be.

Heavyweights (1995) while not being a Horror film for most of you thin kids this childhood thriller always raised one big question for me. How rich were Kenan’s parents? I only ask because I truly never thought black people went to sleep away camps. With that idea being a foreign notion to me the Camp setting just doesn’t sit right with the Spirit of this Black Slasher. Leaving me to think of black exclusive summer settings like The Cookout. The Cookout being one of the most sacred of functions held in the summer is a perfect setting for a Summer Slasher. Being one of the few functions to take place outside and that can last all night, the cookout provides many opportunities for some excellent kills. Plus you actually have a believable reason for Black Folks to be out in nature. The next thing that comes to mind when I think of my “Black summer experience” is destination family reunions. Whether it be Atlanta, Orlando, or even New York I can still remember the long chartered bus rides with too many family members for my comfort. Then without fail once we get to our destination the weekend becomes a flurry of scheduled activities and multiple family meals allowing for multiple fun set pieces for familial slaughter. 

May I just take a moment to reconcile the fact that my life is at a place where I have typed the words “ Familial Slaughter” at 10 AM on a Monday morning.  Moving along, my final suggestion for our Soul Slasher setting (Sorry) is the classic Beach Party. Am I thinking of what  I used to see on B.E.T during Freaknik as a child, Possibly. Might I also be calling to the wild days of Memorial Day weekend on South Beach? Yes, the answer is YES! For years the trope of the all white beach horror has existed and I think it’s time it’s done right. In the immortal words of King Kendrick “ I’m so fuckin’ sick and tired of the Photoshop ,Show me somethin’ natural like afro on Richard Pryor.”

Now that we have some places for bodies to be hidden and discovered as a distraction, We need to talk about Killers. I guess not just killers but what kind of people usually become killers in a slasher film. Traditionally it seems to be either a bullied kid, or the parent of a bullied kid, or a kid harmed from lack of care, or the parent of a kid harmed from lack of care. (SOCIAL COMMENTARY?) I guess to break the chain slightly we could consider what type of people Kill the vibes within the spaces mentioned for our film. Not to start with the obvious but any unvetted, questionably invited or unannounced white person is getting all of the looks when sussing out a killer. Even before the bodies start piling up we need to know why are you here, who are you with, and why do you have a plate?  No matter what the answers to those questions are, this character is not to be trusted until proven not guilty ( never innocent though!). Stepping away from the colonizer to a normal interloper, we have the ex that’s still cool with the family. They spent time as your cousin’s partner for a few years and even though they aren’t an item and haven’t been for some time now they still show up to functions and you never really know why.Their love died years ago, they are either here trying to win Auntie Dana’s heart or they are here for revenge. Moving ever closer within our last suspect is that one family member everyone knows to look out for. We all know that member of the family that can’t be left alone in your Grandmother’s House let alone the kids. (Yikes!) Sometimes it be like that though. 

These are starting to look like very lived in and well thought out universes for our Slasher film. Which means many will survive and many will die, but who will steal everyone’s heart as the Favorite Survivor? All of the aforementioned backdrops for our summer slaughter-land are all made better by that one cousin that has the GAS. Without fail there is the one member of the family that will eventually ask you if you wanna “take a walk” with them. They are universally liked and are usually a great source of positivity and Magical Stoner Survivability. They always come out on top so defeating a Summer Psycho is no problem. Someone who can be a stark difference from that cousin is the Former Athlete in the family. Reaching as far back as to their high school glory days , college defeats, and even some semi-pro big shots they always remember when. They usually can turn anything into a competition and are the only people keeping score. Sometimes clunky and boring within the group dynamic, they offer us the chance to see someone do something physically amazing to defeat the enemy. I’m thinking Gymnastics Vs Raptor kinda awesomeness ( Hey Simone!). Last but definitely not least we have the Disgruntled Elder, This can be an uncle who is proverbially “Too old for this shit!”, Or an auntie who is “ So damn sick and tired” of all this mess. I know it seems like a weird choice but I feel like this is how we can make up for how wrong they did Alfre Woodard in Annabelle. 

As the thud of the killer’s body is heard by our surviving party, we come to the end of our Summer Slasher. We screamed, we ran, we immediately were sus of that white guest. However you decide to mix and match them, these are just a few ideas to think about while making your plate at the cookout and wondering if you could get away with turning the function into your own blood stained wonderland. If you have any other ideas to add, or think that I missed something important out of this drop a comment below. And please if you find yourself reading this and you start to feel a bit uncomfortable just remember :

Former Artist, Current Deviant Timothy Rush. Twitter: @timmyvendetta | Insta:@vendetta234

• By Timothy Rush
• In Guest Blog
• 0 comments